Why The Judgement?
A topic that comes up time and time again in life is judgement. Whether it be self-judgement or judging others.
What is really interesting is when I hear somebody judging themselves they allow it. However, often when somebody notices that they have been judging others they give themselves a horrible time and turn the judgement back on themselves
"I'm going to now judge myself for judging you" this turns into a really unhelpful cycle.
Self-judgement comes up all of the time in eating disorder recovery. A less talked about subject is the judgement of others, this can sometimes carry feelings of shame along with.
It is all really coming from the same place though...a place of lack.
When we judge ourselves we are often punishing ourselves for everything we are not, scolding ourselves out loud or internally so we can somehow rectify our flaws at a later point. Judging others is not about being a bad person, it's about feeling such lack that you are literally scrambling around trying to find some way of making yourself feel better. If you can find something that you have that other people don't it might fill a void, somehow make you feel better. It's really just information that something in your own life is not how you would like it.
What if you had understanding and compassion for yourself instead of judgement?
Would it help to understand why you might be judging others?
What is going on for you? It's actually not about the other people at all...it's only about you!
We learn quite young that we shouldn't judge others but there are loads of things we learn and find ourselves doing anyway. If you don't like it and want to change it, get curious about it...what is the purpose of it? It's only when you understand something about yourself that you can actually change it.